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Post by Sunstar on Apr 14, 2010 22:26:44 GMT -5
Riley here, to let you all know that Prowl has asked me to write up any and all rules and regulations for this base and it's website. Please follow these as any disreguard for them will result in time in the Brig - trust me no-one wants to go there, except maybe the twins! We hope to have the first lot up soon (next few weeks if the 'Cons give us a break long enough). Once they are up they will be updated as regular as we can - every couple of weeks, battles permitting. Thankyou for taking the time to read this and any rule/regulations that are posted here. Primus bless you all. Capt. Riley Kiina Haile, Autobot Ally and charge of Sunstar Attachments:
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Post by Sunstar on Apr 15, 2010 8:23:34 GMT -5
Well here are the first lot of rules that Prowl has had me type up here with some official help from a friend Vettoed by Prowl himself (Many Thanks Hummergrey you are a life saver)
1. Do not hide, confiscate or remove human's coffee, soda pop, energy drinks, chocolate candy, donuts, sugar, or other preferred food items as a joke or in retaliation for a prank or perceived prank. They will not take it well.
2. Do not attempt to get humans to eat healthy. They are sentient enough to make their own dietary choices, however self-destructive. Refer to Rule # 1. You can report them, however, to the human Chief Medical officer via his email.
3. Do not tell civilians that NEST stands for 'Need to Eliminate Stinking Terrorists,' or 'Natural Enemies Selected thoughtfully,' or 'New and Emerging Science and Technology' or anything but what it stands for. (Networked Element, Supporters and Transformers.)
4. Do not identify yourself as an Autobot or Decepticon (even in joking) around any humans without proper government authorized security clearance. And never answer: a.) What, you can't tell? b.) That's it! I'm so firing my talent agent for these low level appearances. c.) Your worse slaggin nightmare! d.) This year's new Christmas prototype. Do you like my paint job? e.) A lost soul looking for love. f.) A pissed off robot whose going to slag the next human that asks me that!
5. No changing the order of the letters on human keyboards.
6. Do not ever start a conversation, excuse or alibi with the following phrases when explaining to Autobot Command or NEST Military officers. a. He / She started it (while pointing at Twin, sparkmate or fellow Autobot.) b. I dare you to c. But it was just sitting there d. We were wondering if e. It sounded like a good idea f. You mean we had to ask first before g. It looked safe on the datapad h. How were we suppose to know it wouldn't i. It would have worked on Cybertron j. It's not our fault that k. There's a rule on this already? Bummer.
7. Do not replace, modify or upgrade any soldiers weapons in any way, structure or form. No exceptions. Any questions regarding this rule should seek the guidance of myself (Prowl), Optimus Prime and Captain Lenox and refer to the alien treaty, sections 14 through 47.
8. While in alt modes, all holographic drivers will be clothed! Do not provoke unnecessary reactions from other drivers as this causes unsafe driving conditions and potential crashes.
9. Do not "DARE" any human or Autobot to take any action that is unsafe, risky or hazardous to themselves or other personnel.
10. Do not use the excuse, but it was a dare! To explain behavior or damage, to a superior office and NEVER TO RATCHET or Mikeala Banes. They will inflict damage worse than the resulting injury of said dare.
11. Do not threaten, injure or take offense if a human asks you to open your trunk, look under your hood or uses phrases like 'nice wheels.' Especially if said human is from the motor pool department. NEST team members have been issued a memo on appropriate comments and actions regarding us. Any potential violations are to be reported to me and Captain Lennox immediately.
12. Do not attempt to copy all human mannerisms. Facial expressions and some gestures are good cross cultural behaviors but respect physical differences.
13. All Autobots will respect and follow proper channels for requests. Not knowing who to ask or personal emotional enthusiasm is not a valid reason for ignoring this rule.
14. Do not encourage Cybertron glyphs, language, or religious beliefs among the humans. When asked, you may explain, briefly, our engraved glyphs are names or what the glyphs are. Otherwise, refer them to myself, Jolt or Mirage.
15. No downloading music and repeating lyrics without fully understanding the words, near humans, especially females of the species.
16. Do not use Cybertronian scanning technology for the personal use of humans unless first clearing it with the supporter's chain of command, Captain Lennox and Sergeant Epps.
17. Do not imply human relationships to Autobots.
18. It is okay to comment on human female's weight loss but never on any gained weight.
19. Do not study or experiment with indigenous wildlife without appropriate safety precautions.
20. Do not create automated drones in shapes that scare, intimidate or panic humans or Autobots.
21. Do not let humans use recordings to make ringtones, wav files, voice clips or songs of us or supporters.
22. Do not watch a cartoon marathon then approach Ratchet with 'what's up Doc' repeatedly the next day. He will run out of wrenches, tools, chairs, tables then begin to throw the smaller Autobots.
23. Do not expect to get out of trouble using your age, war status or rank as a prerogative with command, supporter or Transformer or their sparkmate and wife, including a Prime.
24. No rerouting all internet connections to any hot robots site especially after posing for your own albums.
25. No visual media of our existence, without previous clearance, is allowed. Including photos, sketches, video imaging and more.
26. Do not help humans in their attempts to fly. Their species is not capable of self-propelled flight, no matter the appearance at the time.
27. Do not use live weapons fire around humans without considering their fragile nature and inadequate building structures.
28. Do not use Cybertronian technology to create drones for any purpose not expressly approved by command.
29. A Government Liaison is not to be harassed, threatened, or targeted for pranks in any way.
30. Do not lose, misfile or fail to translate into English any report, form or other information requests by a government official including liaisons. If needing assistance, contact myself (Prowl) or Optimus Prime.
31. Do not confuse the human liaison as to our identities, intents, or purposes. Do not discuss or mention anything related to our beliefs, history or battle plans. Refer the liaison to Optimus Prime or Captain Lennox.
32. Do not use the following excuses to explain why a report, form or other request was not completed in a timely and complete manner: a. I didn't know the deadline was that close. b. I seem to be missing the processors for that c. That event / request is not in my memory banks d. Oh, I was supposed to do it? I thought you were just mentioning it e. I didn't volunteer for that f. I'm waiting on more data g. I'm a solider not a Prime h. I was guarding Sam and Mikeala that week i. It's a human problem. Why bother me with it? j. We're in this together and I'm waiting on their parts k. Dang computer froze again l. High speed was down, dial-up took too long m. It's back on Cybertron n. Decepticons blew it up o. Ravage ate it
33. Do not take it personal if a human hangs anything from the center windshield mirror. Do not throw it and/or the human out onto the road. Please turn it over to me (Prowl).
34. Do not encourage, participate in or teach gambling activities for human supporters or Autobots.
35. No parking in designated illegal tow zones, allowing yourself to be towed then breaking free and racing down the road the wrong direction.
36. Do not test possible Decepticon weaponry or explosives devices by attempting to activate them. Do not dispose of them in an unsafe manner on NEST or human areas.
37. Do not hesitate to signal an emergency, even if you have caused it. Use the appropriate level of alarm and do not notify Prime by texting "How do we evacuate the base in a hurry?"
38. Medical personnel are not bound to or under the command of government liaison in regards to repairs and necessary upgrades as dictated by budget concerns.
39. Do not lie, cheat or add to mileage reimbursement forms turned in. All data is verifiable upon request by command officers, Optimus Prime or Ratchet.
40. Do not take any alt form that is a known earth vehicle including but not limited to: a. Black car with oscillating red light sensor in the front known as Kitt, the 1984 Pontiac Trans Am Firebird or the 2009 Ford Shelby GT500KR Mustang versions. b. 1980's GMC Vandura Black and grey van with red stripes up side, the A-team. c. 1966 Chevrolet Sport van 108, Green with mystery machine graphics, Scooby Doo. d. 1963 White Volkswagen with number 8 graphics, Herbie the love bug. e. A long black car with extended nose and rocket jet on the back, Batmobile f. 1969 Dodge Charger, orange with black 01 painted on both doors, General Lee, Dukes of Hazzard. Silver DeLorean DMC-12, 16-port twin exhaust boxes, flux capacitor, Back To the Future g. 1974 Ford Grand Torino Red with white stripes at doors and up to back window, Starsky and Hutch h. 1959 Cadillac ambulance, white with a green ghost graphics, the Ghostbusters Ecto-1. i. 1976 AMC Pacer, blue with mini flames behind front wheels, Wayne's World j. Any other vehicle descriptive by custom paint, logo or modification from a TV show, movie or cartoon series.
41. Do not offer to assist in human maintenance activities including but not limited to trash removal, weed trimming, mowing the grass, or removing stains off the concrete floor or similar buy using live weapons fire. Also see rule # 42.
42. Do not use trash, discarded computer equipment, or abandoned vehicles for target practice unless it is clearly marked as trash or discarded, especially if those items belong to the current government liaison.
43. Do not offer, agree, or interact with human sport teams or groups unless authorized by myself (Prowl) or Ratchet. All contact sports are prohibited for obvious reasons and other sports for non-obvious reasons. Also, see rule 44.
44. Do not agree to referee, judge or monitor any sports team or group.
45. When assisting in practice drills, and playing a Decepticon, do not transform still wearing the Decepticon symbol in the middle of the mess tent, anyone's sleeping quarters or on the firing range.
46. Do not paint or alter a fellow Autobot or a vehicle belonging to a governmental official, especially a liaison, to a known earth vehicle as mentioned in Rule 40 as a prank or calling it a 'design improvement.'
47. No experimenting on human supporters, human friends and never youngling or sparklings.
48. Do not imply, state or acknowledge any fantasy world of the humans as being REAL including but not limited to Star Trek, Babylon 5, Star Wars, Stargate, Alien, Predator, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, the Day the Earth Stood Still and related.
49. No engineering, adding or creating structures on NEST base or surrounding areas by Autobots without permission and appropriate approval.
50. Do not create, fabricate or engineer toys or play areas for humans including Annabelle Lennox, Mikaela Banes and Sam Witwicky without clearing with parental units, Bumblebee and Ironhide.
Once again a huge thanks to Hummergrey for helping with these rules and regulations, these must be followed by all Autobots and NEST personnel.
(www.fanfiction.net/s/5276945/1 is the link for the story behind these - and yes Prowl did approve them before hand!)
I should have more up by the end of the week.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this and any rule/regulations that are posted here.
Primus bless you all.
Capt. Riley Kiina Haile, Autobot Ally and charge of Sunstar
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Post by Sunstar on Apr 16, 2010 22:36:30 GMT -5
Riley here yet again! And can I just say that Prowl this is getting a little outta control - even for you, yet another 50 rules/regulations to be added to the list.
Well here they are, and please obey them to the best of your abilities.
51. No exceeding posted speed limits and use extreme caution around the supporters, their younglings and sparklings, especially Annabelle Lennox.
52. No leaving data pads of any kind around Annabelle Lennox. Also, see rule # 53.
53. No profanity spoken or written in either English or Cybertronian around Annabelle Lennox.
54. No giving candy to Annabelle Lennox without clearing it with parental units AND Ironhide.
55. Do not answer the any of the following when a human asks, "Can I ask you a question?" a. I don't answer to inferior life forms b. Do I look like a talking car? Wait, I am! Oh primus! (when in alt mode) c. The special today is Decepticon wing seared by an energon sword with light canon fire and…. d. Did you take a number at the front gate? We are currently servicing questioner # 4 right now. e. Sorry, I'm spoken for. Interspecies relationships are expressly forbidden, painfully impossible and you are so not my type. f. A question? That reminds me of the time on Ceti Alpha Eight. I questioned if we would survive. We were surrounded by organic rude hybrids that…… g. Depends. It is important like Unicron attacking and destroying whole worlds or important like The Fallen about to engage the sun collector or important like I'm a puny human who is being inquisitive and probably should ask another mech? h. What is this? Miss American pageant? Fine. World peace and an end to soggy doughnuts. i. No vacancies. Full for the weekend. Try the military base up the road. j. How long do I have to think about it ? k. Yes, no, maybe, probably, then again not in this lifetime so get lost fleshling. l. WHAT?!!! (at full volume capacity) m. Any answer in Cybertron while gesturing wildly. n. Screaming and folding down into your alt form and driving off wildly. *Twins o. Me no like guessing games. Me stomp! Why you run away? *Grimlock p. Play the clip, "please hold." Then play instrumental music until they leave. *Bumblebee q. Yes, we're twins and I'm the better looking one. *Sunstreaker and Sideswipe r. Why, you going to write a blog on my answer ? s. Any other answer not approved by Autobot Command or NEST or the Press Liaison.
56. Do not tease, be critical of or underestimate the importance of an Autobot using safety equipment designed for humans, especially younglings and sparklings, including Annabelle Lennox.
57. Do not change official equipment in regards to telling time, location or other required information.
58. Do not yell at a human, especially in front of higher command officers. They yell back.
59. Do not assist humans with homework, or teach them advanced materials beyond their current need unless the situation or circumstances require it. Civilian or military included.
60. When a human asks, 'what's the battle plan' do not answer: a. Why? You know something I don't? b. Do you have clearance from Cybertron command? Takes 2 vorns or 164 years to complete the forms and get approval. You better start now. c. Turn your optics red, unsubspace both swords, slam them into the ground on either side of the person asking and growl. d. Smile and say 'go ask my twin. He has a better answer.' Then video record what happens when he's asked. e. Don't get off-lined. The rest is minor details. f. Cut back on soda pop and other sugary drinks, no fried foods and work out more. Oh, I thought you were talking about dealing with your weight chubby. g. Shoot, shoot, and shoot some more making sure not to miss. h. Why ask me? I'm a medic not a strategist. I'm the one stuck repairing all the messes. i. Our response will be on a sliding scale. The more Decepticons that attack, the more we send them sliding into the pit. j. I'm just a soldier. Ask my brother, he's the Prime. k. Run away? No, wait. That's what you do when the plan fails. l. Use plans A - R. Why stop there? If you go through 18 plans and haven't won, then S stands for screwed! m. Send a memo to the Decepticons, await their scheduling response, agree to both meet, discuss which committee has the weapons….I am being serious. That's how you humans plan it!
61. Do not participate, purchase or assist in human fund raising, charity drives, or similar. A designated fund exists. Submit appropriate requests to a command officer.
62. No answering telephones and pretending to be Ratchet's Prime's, or my (Prowl) assistant and scheduling any type of appointment, meeting or public event.
63. Do not sneak into drive-in movies.
64. Do not appear to panic, become unduly upset or show unpredictable violent behavior around the humans. We are intelligent, self-controlled living beings, with thousands of years of experience and wisdom.
65. Do not mention, explain or release any information on the Matrix other than it is an ancient device that is carried by a Prime. Refer all inquiries to myself (Prowl) or Optimus Prime. Do not refer them to Ratchet or Ironhide. This is strictly a command issue.
66. Do not post embarrassing, unusual or surprised moment pictures of fellow Autobots on the internal relays or NEST intranet.
67. Do not turn fellow Autobots into human toys.
68. Do not assume any item is harmless or "idiot proof" in the possession of a fellow Autobot.
69. Do not plot, plan or sneak a tactical solution with humans without consulting or at least informing command officers, especially those involved in said plan whether they know it or not .
70. Do not joke, insinuate or contemplate interspecies marriages between humans and Autobots unless truly serious.
71. Do not inquire, challenge or openly criticize the role of human females in the military. It is an earth rule and Autobot command will ensure their transfer to our teams as requested.
72. Do not assist with the removal, extermination or prevention of pests on base. Including but not limited to rats, mice, snakes, insects or perceived pests like small dogs and government liaisons.
73. Do not use holographic driver programs to portray any trademarked food, beverage or similar product, even if attempting to remain anonymous.
74. When caught speeding, do not switch your holographic driver to a diminutive, aged female human.
75. Do not use holograms to portray famous humans who have off-lined from previous historical time periods, are stuck in any transposed state or off-lined in any visibly deceased manner.
76. Do not change holographic drivers to non-human forms for any purpose or situation previously not approved, especially to provoke reactions from human drivers.
77. Do not believe what humans tell you in regards to medical conditions or cross species contaminations. Consult an Autobot medic.
78. Do not express personal opinions, beliefs or attitudes regarding Decepticons around humans. a.) Especially Annabelle Lennox until she reaches an appropriate age of maturity per her parental units. *Ironhide and any other mech or femme. b.) Exempted are NEST authorized personnel, Sam Witwicky (not his parents) and Mikaela Banes (not her father or aunt)
79. Do not play the song hokey pokey on base except as requested by humans at dances. Never repeat play endlessly on prisoners in the brig. That constitutes cruel and unusual punishment.
80. Do not send human clothing via the mail, as a present to those humans encountered and not known to NEST forces.
81. Do not adapt human reality shows to our existence.
82. No retaliation on Earth cars for damage or insult caused by their drivers.
83. When a human runs up and says, "We have an emergency and need you" (even if you know it is a drill or non-emergency) Do NOT answer: a. How is that my problem fleshling? b. Scream, run in circles, and transform back and forth as though panicking. c. Charge your weapons and point them at said human until they leave or faint. d. Come back in fifteen minutes, I'm on break. e. Tell the mechs, emergencies are their problems. I'm a femme. f. I got symbols all over me but 911 ain't one of them. g. If you need me, it's not an emergency but a disaster! h. Call your President and Congress, they probably created this situation. i. Yah, yah, I got that memo. Forwarded it to someone who cares. j. Now who died and where do we stuff the body this time? k. Any other response not deemed appropriate by Cybertron command.
84. Do not attempt to adjust, enhance or improve the functioning of human equipment in their showers, restrooms or private living quarters.
85. Do not attempt to awaken a human, especially one that is tired from previous battles, by: a. Leaning in very close to their face and tapping them. Remember our size differences. *Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus and Ratchet. b. Grabbing them by their ankle extensions and swing them up into the air like a sparkling. c. Using a light magnetic pulse to get their attention. d. Do not charge weapons and blast the bed out from under them. e. Jumping up and down on the floor, pavement or ground. Especially those from California, Oregon and Washington. (Earthquake country) f. Play any song at full volume. g. Yell "Hey fleshling, recharge time is over!" *Ironhide h. Scream, "The Decepticons are attacking, the Decepticons are attacking." i. Place a sleeping human femme on or nearby them. Neither will appreciate it, certainly any unbonded pair. *Sideswipe, Sunstreaker j. A few drops of water will work, not an Autobot size handful. Please refer to emergency drowning procedures for fleshlings module. k. Do not stroke, prod or tickle them. Reactions to said touching will be varied and may create a response you are unable to deal with. l. Never cover their face or breathing apertures. You will offline them and Autobot Command will offline you pending trial until the end of the war for murder. Review physical limitations of human's structures, a medical requirements module. m. Cold only if varying a few degrees and not using freezing rays. Too varied a temperature and they will develop hypothermia or offline. Again, consult medical requirements. n. Place five alarms clocks around said sleeper, each 15 seconds apart in alarm time and trigger the first. o. Do not use frozen marbles, shaving cream, syrup, paint, live animals, or insects for assistance. p. If all else fails or you are concerned about injuries, let them sleep. Their command officer will deal with it. q. If Sam Witwicky - Report to Bumblebee or his parental units. Repeated attempts will be required and they know the methods that have worked in the past without injury. r. If Mikeala Banes - Do not disturb. Let Sam Witwicky or Optimus Prime make the attempt. They are more likely to be allowed to continue to function once said femme is awake. s. If Riley Haile - Do Not attempt for any reason. You may either have your interface appliance blow away by her gun, or worse. Leave it to Lennox or Epps of the Humans and Sunstar her Guardian - they know how to get her up without harm to their persons.
86. Do not use special abilities, advanced design specifics around humans without warning them about potential consequences when attempting to duplicate.
87. Do not encourage humans in their attractions to or for our race.
88. Do not practice stealth tactics on humans in the dark, especially after a horror movie fest night.
89. No masquerading as human children's entertainment rides, even if preventing graffiti or damage.
90. Do not pick alt forms that are terrifying, cruel or deadly by nature. Leave that to the Decepticons.
91. Do not change holographic drivers to roadside convenience equipment including but not limited to mailboxes, telephones, or trash cans.
92. Do not abuse the use of drive thru windows. They are made for human convenience at coffee stands, fast food, banks, dry cleaners, and wedding chapels. Using holographic drivers to pull pranks and posting the result on the internet is absolutely forbidden. Please refer to previous rules regarding use of holographic drivers.
93. Do not remake human board games into Cybertronian versions.
94. Do not tamper with base blue prints, alter GPS codes or land maps and provide to new personnel to "help" them find their way around.
95. When yelled at, "why didn't you kill that Decepticon?" do Not answer: a. What do you think I was trying to doing by shooting at it? b. Yes, those plasma grenades, cannon blasts and energon sword were so playing patty cake with him weren't they? c. He sends the most beautiful Christmas cards every year and I would so miss getting one. d. This week's budget only allowed my five battle kill rockets and that was my sixth battle. e. If you could do better, you attack him! f. I wanted, 'plays nice with others', on my report card. g. He has the same armor, weapons and battle experience but we're stuck with you on our side! h. If I kill him then I have to eat him and I'm not hungry. Had a liaison's car for breakfast. i. It's Tuesday. Wounding badly but not off-lining. Thursday is blowing sparks to fragments and Friday is slice and dice with a sword... j. I am a scout not a mass murderer. k. I am awaiting paperwork approval from the EPA - Environmental Protection Agency to spill energon, a known hazardous substance onto the ground and surrounding vegetation.
96. Do not steal items in the possession of fleshlings associated with Autobots. They are destructive items that will cause damage and possible off-lining despite their earthy appearance.
97. Do not read or rely on human self-help books to handle situations between mechs, especially with command situations.
98. Do not deceive humans about our refueling and recharging needs.
99. Do not fail to upload and update rules, laws, regulations and ordinances from city, county, state, federal, municipal, townships, burroughs and regions as relating to driving on freeways, highways, interstates, toll roads, bridges, streets, county roads and unpaved roads. *Any Autobot with wheels and not wings
100. Do not forget to maintain the exterior alt vehicle form, license plates, renewal tabs or specialty permits as required by human laws.
Well that's all for now, there may be a few more by next week knowing Prowl, and knowing the Twins (any set) they will end up in the Brig for any pranks pulled causing said rules/regulation to be required.
Once again a huge thanks to my friend who helped Prowl with these www.fanfiction.net/s/5276945/1 check out the link if you want a more indepth version.
Captain Riley Kiina Haile, signing off.
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Post by Sunstar on Apr 17, 2010 22:02:34 GMT -5
Well here once more are the next set of Rules/Regulations that Prowl is sat watching me type up for him here on the Base's Website.
Some of these Rules/Regulations came about because some 'bots are just plain stupid to do as they were told, as were a few humans - You all know who you are!!
Anywho, onwards with the torment known as Prowls Rules/Regulations.
101. Do not change holographic drivers into animals, real or mythical.
102. Do not assess capabilities of strange objects by poking, prodding or touching. Earth may be primitive but its dangers are not.
103. Do not ignore Medical restrictions through human assistance. They will not be harmed but Ratchet will deal with you, mech or femme by any means at his disposal.
104. Do not show a lack of respect to any command officer based on physical appearance or injuries, NEST or human.
105. My Second in Command and Chief Security Officer should not nag, worry or stress over his Prime. He's a big bot who can take care of himself. Or his sparkmate will kick both their mech afts.
106. Do not attempt untried battle maneuvers in actual combat situations based on human action movies and their fight sequences. You will have to deal with Autobot command Optimus Prime, weapons specialist Ironhide, Field Operations Jazz and Chief Medical Officer Ratchet. Your title will be Slag Spare bits by the time they are done with you.
107. When a human asks 'how long are you staying?' do not answer: a. Thirty days past the last eviction notice. b. When the United States budget deficit is erased and government spending is controlled. c. As soon as I finish downloading everything intelligent and beautiful off the internet in art, music and literature. BEEP! Done already? That was fast. d. When Cybertron's third moon crosses in planetary alignment with the second and aligns with Ursa Major. Missed it last time, was in the brig. Some bots have no sense of humor. e. Until our sparkling is in their second frame. Oops! Did I say that? I want the sparkling to be a surprise tomorrow for my mech. *taps chest plates while smiling* *Nice try but not giving it away here either f. When I find a femme as good looking as I am. g. Waiting for my high-grade flavor of the vorn club to finish out. h. Why? You don't really believe anything is going to happen in 2012 and want a lift off world? i. When my femme arrives and we sparkmate and live happily ever after. j. Until the Harry Potter series is finished and on DVD so I can take it anywhere in the galaxy with me. k. When I have figured out the female of your species. l. Long as command doesn't find out about today's prank or yesterday's or the day before that or the three last week or the nineteen last month m. When they put white cinder blocks under me because the repair budget is used up. n. Until my brother is no longer Prime then I am out of here. I am just a solider and they are not sticking me with that job!
108. Do not assume what has worked successfully for humans over time with proven results will work for Transformers.
109. Do not force or attempt to force a mix of the two races, Transformer and human. Each is distinct with their habits, customs and personal mannerisms.
110. Do not leave a fellow Autobot or NEST teammate unattended and unmonitored during the recovery stage. Especially a human. A breem of activity can undo joors of repair. *Amended 09/26/09 by Chief Medical Officer. "undo joors of repair and require ice packs for the wrench shaped bruises."Riley side note: **Hey Ratchet, Prowl had this in his processor for how long?**111. No humans are allowed in Wheeljack's lab. No matter whom they say they are, what credentials they flash or who they say their boss is. There are no exceptions to this rule. Do not let them in !
112. Do not use excessive force, grip or speed when evacuating a human from a dangerous situation, battlefield conditions or Wheeljack's lab. Review Ratchet's "physical limitations of human elements" teaching and upload the limits of their species if you have not already processed that file.
113. Do not acknowledge the existence of Decepticon pretenders, mini drone bots who can assume the appearance of human females, to any governmental authority, and never to Samuel Witwicky, Mikaela Banes, or Leo Spitz.
114. When a human says do you want to attend the meeting do not answer: a. Slag no! What did I say that sounded like torture me for four hours? b. Sure. I could use the downtime to check my e-mail and chat on IM. c. Can I read the important parts later on twitter? d. You talk, I pretend to listen then on the battlefield you scream and I still ignore you. e. Sorry, my security clearance doesn't include super level boring. f. No, I don't WANT to but do I have to? **Riley**g. I said I had insomnia, not the wish to offline by boredom. h. Let me rip out my processors, deactivate my memory files and I should be ready. i. See these cannons? Do they look meeting friendly? *Ironhide j. Grounded by my femme, if you can convince her to let me attend? k. And miss my afternoon soap operas? l. Going to save the world, send me the meeting minutes later please. m. Have to go to the brig. Why? Oh, so you haven't seen Flare-up's new transform we gave her? How many bright green teardrop camping trailers are there on base? n. Listening to a bunch of clueless humans is so how I want to spend my time between battles. o. It's scheduled the same slot as anger management therapy. Which do you think I should attend fleshling? p. Repeat "why?" until the human leaves. q. Sam and Mikeala need me. What for? *thinks* Help them break the big news to his parental units. What news? Need to know basis. *Bumblebee via texting r. Need to polish my armor. Appearance is important when saving your aft from big bad Decepticons. *Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. s. You must be a pit spawned servant to ask me a question like that. t. And they say fleshlings have no sense of humor . Rhetorical question right?
115. Do not change, interfere, or alter any other Autobots holograms unless specifically authorized by said Autobot, Prime and his command staff and resulting changes are deemed safe and have been tested.
116. Do not create and attach bumper stickers on Autobot forms. They are a potential threat to our anonymity and the meaning intended can be misconstrued.
117. Do not make unattended drones to assist in human or Autobot general maintenance chores. Humans or a mech must be present to monitor potential problems and prevent theft of the devices.
118. No reprogramming human kids toys with Cybertronian upgrades and leaving around for the soldiers to find.
119. No Autobot, under any circumstances, are allowed to pose as a government authority vehicle outside of base, even if it is to 'protect the peace.' **Sorry Prowl, Primes Orders** 120. Do not confuse humans with multiple names for the same mech or femme.
121. Do not reveal our existence over the internet through e-mail, web chat, blogs or interpersonal sites.
122. Do not take offense when the humans get our battle cry wrong. Explain what it means without threatening undue harm, bodily injury or imminent death.
123. When a human asks how old you are, do NOT reply: a. It's not the age, it is the mileage. b. Not sure, your number system does not go up that high. Two past the computation of pi I believe. c. I remember seeing this planet being formed when younger... d. Why? The answer will make you feel like the mere blip in existence that your short pathetic life span is. e. Three core processors, one spark casing spire reset and two memory upgrades. f. Younger than Jetfire, older than Optimus and same as my spark mate Chromia. *Ironhide g. We count experience not age for respect. How about you? Been to many other planets? h. Fourth frame and a normal alt mode. You have an alt mode yet or still choosing a design? i. I told you that yesterday and the day before that when you asked. Don't you remember? j. I woke up on this side of the matrix so not old enough to offline yet. k. Confidential information covered under treaty act 'do not harm humans for stupid questions.' l. Mechs already know, femmes don't care and I drink high grade. What does that tell you? m. Old enough to fight, create a sparkling or spark mate. And you human, are so not my type even if you are over twenty one, interspecies prohibited and no, that is never what the holographic drivers are for.
124. Do not try to assess human emotional states, especially those related to love, anger or both at the same mate or attached partner. Sparkmating is rare and virtually unknown among their race. Listen and do not take sides, referring each or both to human medical staff, chaplain or counselor. Never Ratchet.
125. Do not leave restricted information unsecured or easily compromised by humans, friends or enemies.
126. Do not refuse, hide or attempt to evade Autobot Command when creating a prank or acting it out and they ask. In addition, warn them of potentially hazardous, to human or Autobot, confiscated equipment in their possession.
127. Do not underestimate the human need for revenge, irregardless of the severity of end result of the original prank pulled on them.
128. Do not demonstrate to humans the right or wrong way to release any substance that is hazardous, dangerous or irritating in chemical, solid or mist form.
129. Do not assume humans will move or acknowledge our presence. They are easily distracted from their surroundings to the point of serious injury or off-lining by ways a sparkling would recognize as dangerous.
130. Do not take human's reassurances they are alright when injured. They lack internal scanners and repair systems to self diagnosis injuries and medical conditions. Refer to Ratchet's human first aid and treatment modules as well as NEST medical guides.
131. Do not discuss sparking, spark making or sparklings with human females. It is a complicated subject with intense emotional connections for their species.
132. Do not get upset when a human makes a commitment and breaks it. They are a young species that believes in untruths, unfulfilled agreements and broken promises. That does not excuse us from keeping our side.
133. Do not assume low level human technology, their lack of experience as a race, or fragile biological nature makes them less of a threat than the Decepticons.
134. Do not take photo images of the humans for any purposes not approved and never of children, sparklings, or younglings without parental permission or Autobot command review.
135. Do not assume one time of telling a human 'no' is sufficient denial. It may take a negative response in a variety of forms for them to understand.
136.Do not discuss personal Cybertron relationships and past experiences with the humans. Their curiosity is endless and even a simple remark may be taken as perverted or inviting. No living bot would mate with them. They may try with us.
137. Do not let concerns for safety interfere with our ability to fight. Humans require it; while important it can become an issue in wartime.
138. Do not enter human contests using our advanced technology, skills and methods to win.
139. Do not assist in the removal, capture or relocation of wild animals from Diego Garcia or other NEST sites, back to their native habitat. Let human fish and game or wildlife experts handle the situation.
140. Do not fail to engage holographic drivers as needed. Humans are quick to believe the idea of a killer or possessed car when seeing us function on our own.
141. Do not repeatedly bring up past incidents to humans that carry considerable emotional attachments, especially negative ones. Their memory cores are limited and easily corrupted but certain incidents they deliberately want to forget even as we store them for thousands of years.
142. Do not let humans intimidate, attempt to control, blackmail or command you to any action or forbid action not approved or ordered by Autobot Command and NEST approved officers.
143. Do not ask humans about previous mating relationships they have had. It is an intensely complicated subject and may involve hurt and emotions we are not equipped to handle or understand fully at that time.
144. Do not assume human safety precautions insure safety to themselves or our race. Their knowledge, perceptual scope and reaction time is severely limited.
145. When a human asks if you are ok / are you hurt do not answer: a. Do I look slaggin okay? b. My chassis is here but my arm and leg are there. Mind using your brain to retrieve them and not to ask dumb aft questions like that ? c. Lovely day today. Thought I'd lie here and watch clouds go by for awhile. d .I always *pant gasp* sound so *wheeze* on the battlefield. e. No, I'm fine. *pretend to faint and take optics offline* *Sunstreaker f. Do not jump up screaming after pretending to be offline and the humans are poking you. *Sideswipe g. You bleed red and I bleed blue energon. What color is this? h. I'm not okay. My femme left me, my aft got kicked by Decepticons and my last optic view might be you fleshling! Primus hates me! i.*cry and pretend to leak optic fluid* My paint is all scratched! *Sunstreaker j. No, you must carry on.*hand them your energon sword, knowing they can't handle the weight* k. That left a mark. No, a huge burning hole all the way thru so yes it hurts! l. I think I'll feel that tomorrow. Wait, I feel it now! Ow! Ow! Ow! m. Whatever the opposite of ok is, that would be me right about now. n. Ratchet is yelling at me, you are holding my hand so what am I missing here ? o. I was until you yelled at me if I was ok?! p. I'm hurt not deaf and you are one ugly squishy. r. Gasp and say "Rosebot" before going into stasis shock s. Tell my femme *rattle off phrase only in Cybertronian* It's important she know that! t. I don't mind joining the matrix. Could use the rest from you and this planet. Well that seems to be all for now, so I'll let you go and do whatever it was you were going to do with your spare time *wish I had some - fraggin' slave driving.... Oh hey Prowl, Ratchet... hehehehehe!!!!* RUN!!!!!
Capt. Riley Kiina Haile Signing Off Now!!!! - *Runs out*
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Post by Sunstar on Apr 21, 2010 20:49:36 GMT -5
Riley here with Jazz, typing up the next installment of Prowls rules and Regulations - once again we are sorry but he's making us do this!!
146. Do not show disrespect to a command officer through the use of nicknames, especially when said mech or femme has stated their disapproval of said nickname. Including but not limited to: a. Prowlie, Prowler, Prowappy or Prorule Maker. b. Primebot, Primie or Optimax. c. Ironhide as Little blast, big blast, blastmaster or Blaster (another Autobot -Communications) d. Major Lennie, Lionox, Len, or Willie. e. Riptech, Wrenchit, or Chief Mad Officer instead of Chief Medical Officer
147. Do not try to understand human beliefs regarding intangible probabilities including but not limited to luck, karma, fate, and chance.
148. Do not mistake a human's expressed wish or desire for true intentions. They dream, fantasize and live in alternate realties online without focusing on what is before them.
149. Do not endanger Autobots or humans on the NEST obstacle course. It is for battle simulations and not pranks, especially on a femme, intentional or not.
150. When a human asks, 'do you have a sparkmate?' do not : a. Break down sobbing at how unfair the universe is that you are alone. b. Widen your optics and say "Why, did you want the position?" c. I did but then we fought and she left me to join the Decepticons. d. Femmes? Who the slag needs them? e. A spark mate would be illogical, time consuming and a pain in the aft. f. I believe in shallow, spark with them and leave them relationships. g. What? And lose all those responses to my online personal ads? *Checks online account* nothing but humans! Yech! h. 5 known femmes (2 spark mated already) and 42 known mechs with more coming from the far reaches of space. What are my odds? i. She's mine! Even look her way fleshling and I will hunt you down to Cybertron's far moons! j. Because having a mech and a sparkling would be redundant. k. I did want a spark mate then worked with the twins for an Orn and that cured that. l. Primus has protected me so far from that fate. m. No, because Prime and Ultra Magnus aren't interested and their other brother is a psychotic killer. n. Course not, no one is good looking enough to match me. *Sunstreaker.
151. Do not assume that surviving the last battle equips you to survive the next one. Humans never stop learning and improving war capabilities. Neither should we though we must never learn their lust for power and conquering.
152. Do not let the humans handle our subspace technology. They spill their coffee on a regular basis. Primus help us if they glitched a subspace field.
153. Do not adopt human customs including but not limited to being a couch potato, slob or slacker. Do embrace their love of life, exploring and relationships being important.
154. Do not celebrate human holidays by repainting or transforming our forms beyond reasonable changes.
155. Do not impose corrective action on a fellow mech or femme that is excessive or cruel to the nature of the offense. We are sentient beings and know the difference between right and wrong. We should set an example for the humans. They are a young race and have much to learn.
156. Do not underestimate the human's reliance on plans and their inability to adjust when those plans fail.
157. Do not attack recklessly, foolishly or to show off in front of the humans, military or civilian. They offline faster and cannot move out of the way as easily. There is enough energon and blood spilt in war. Do not add to it.
158. When asked to describe a situation or battle scene, do not answer: a. Bad, really really bad. b. Uh, send every bot? And I do mean every bot. c. We are so fragged! d. Uhm, you didn't have any plans for later did you? You might want to cancel them. e. OMP! *Oh my Primus! f. Remember when you said nothing would ever top the Azvarius battle? This will. g. All right, cannon blasting time! h. Not good as in I just got my paint redone and now this ?! i. Did I ever tell you how much I hate scouting missions? Because if I survive this, I am never doing one again! j. Worse than the twins ever could have done, well maybe close to them… k. Time to wrack and ruin! l. Even my nightmares aren't this bad looking… m. Uhm, does Megatron have a weak spot? Now would be the time to tell me where it is. n. Tell my femme I love her and sorry I won't be coming back. (You will and know it, just want to party before returning to base to have her fuss over you)
159. Do not give any explanation or demonstration for human curiosity of a personal nature without permission from Autobot command. Especially regarding a medical subject.
160. Do not mistake a human question of wanting to understand how we or our functions work and the request to demonstrate the how with them participating. Screams of joy and fear often sound alike.
161. Do not endanger human passengers by demonstrating advanced skills, technology or through reckless disregard of their fragile nature. They place their trust in us and our programming. We must not betray that trust.
162. Do not underestimate the danger of impact injuries, especially to vital areas. Either human or transformer. Humans must be monitored for effects long term. Refer to Ratchet's guide for human injuries module upload.
163. When a human asks, 'did you encounter Decepticons?' and you, the transport, NEST human soldiers and fellow Autobots are obviously damaged, do not answer: a. No, three kids with water super soakers punched through our armor and left char blasts. b. Sparking last night with a femme. Told her she needed to ease up on the armor, too big for her hip plates. c. This? The swiss cheese look is to support our local dairy farmers. What, were on a military base on an island? Hmm? Coral reefs look then? d. Prank backfired. Apparently Megatron and Starscream have no sense of humor when being shot at. e. Noticed huh? *Arm, both legs from the knee plates are missing* f. Good guess. Now can you use your intellectual skills to find the number for med bay and call Ratchet! g. Either that or I stole one of Ironhide's cannons while he was still holding the other one… h. We decided to play Marco polo with energon rifles i. Cheaper to get parts replaced than upgrade you know. j. Wanted to give Ratchet, Red Alert, and Wheeljack a challenge this weekend. k. Slipped and fell in a mud puddle filled with sharkticons. l. I was looking for Sam and woke up Mikeala by mistake. *Bumblebee m. Visited my local fan club and those fan girls are enthusiastic! *Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Ultra Magnus n. Do you really expect me to answer that? o. Let's see, I bagged one, still functional online so how about you remove it from the cargo hold by yourself and let me know what happens next? p. This? Army Ranger group therapy. *Riley* q. Sale at the local superstore, opened at 6 am and was by the doors when they first opened. r. Trying to outdo my record for most impressive battle damage *Optimus Prime s. Femmes dig battle wounds and repair welds. *Ironhide t. Time to get a new paint job and I thought, hey why not go all out? u. Logical response is "Yes" but illogical is "my safety processor is offline and you look like a fun target *targets shoulder rifle* start running fleshling…". *Prowl - Never thought I'd live to see Prowler do this to anyone!!! v. Encounter? As in to meet as an adversary or enemy and to engage in conflict with? What gave it away? w. Missed the memo on get your aft kicked party at noon?
164. Do not alter holographic drivers into random shapes based on keywords.
165. Do not change holographic drivers to weather or atmospheric conditions.
166. Do not misjudge human intentions based on their habitual untruthfulness. Lying is expected and encouraged in their race.
167. Do not ignore or disregard battle preparations over former experiences and training. Every situation is different and a single detail can separate a "mission" from "merging with the matrix." Humans are forgetful and easily stressed; we are often their only backup and help.
168. Do not use advance logic, processing techniques or strategy with most humans. It will not work or be missed by their species entirely, creating confusion. They work primarily on emotion first and intelligence second.
169. Do not rely on human audio receptors and memory processors to record, store and retrieve given information in the future accurately, in a timely manner or to match our standards. "I forgot" is both an excuse and accurate summation and their inability to remember. Time and distance affect memories, even if only five minutes or moving five feet away, especially in regard to car keys, optical glasses, homework and other assigned duties.
170. Do not become frustrated at a human's lack of response when seeking information and do not ever use of the following human phrases when responding to a question, especially from a command officer: a. Meh, do I look like a bot that cares? b. Not my specialty to know that answer. c. You have the same processors I do, go look up the answer. d. That is for me to know and you to figure out. Back in my day, we found our own answers. e. Funny, that was the final question on 'jeopardy for idiots' last night. f. I am busy fixing my paint, ask me later. g. When you find a Decepticon that wants the same answer, I will care. Until then I will be on the target range. h. As a femme I help teach sparkling and youngling. You are way past that point, chassis wise at least. i. Next upgrade and the information will upload. Now, not there. j. I am a soldier not an information bot. k. Duh, I don't know. You Skids? Nope, us neither. l. Ask a human, keep them busy and out of our way.
171. Do not encourage the belief in mythical weapons including but not limited to light sabers, ray guns, proton blasters, skynet hover killers, predator metal shuriken, or similar devices. We are from Cybertron not Hollywood science fiction action stars.
172. Do not modify, alter or adjust human computers and related systems unless specifically asked to do so, have the changes cleared and authorized, however simple and easy their technology is to "fix." *NOT MY LAPTOP!!!! - Riley*
173. Do not assume human command structure is based on skill, logic and dependability. Even the Decepticon system for determining assignments is better than the humans.
174. Do not become discouraged as humans on the same team, department or even in the same families do not progress. In the midst of crisis, they can unite as a whole and achieve incredible things.
175. When asked, 'what DID happen to all those people in Mission City with electronic implants when the Allspark...?' do not answer: a. What people? b. WHAT!? OH PRIMUS! c. Members of your species have electronic implants? d. Well, that depends entirely on what kind of implant they had... For example, have you ever seen that movie 'Alien'? e. Fraggit! I KNEW we were forgetting something! f. You REALLY don't want me to answer that... g. Err... h. Can I get back to you on that? i. What do I care? j. How am I supposed to know?! I wasn't even here at the time! k. I'm sorry, my audio receptors seem to be malfunctioning. I thought I just heard you say that your race has electronic implants? Could you repeat the question please? l. *stare at them uncomprehendingly until it fully processes then go running in a panic to Optimus* j. Where do you think the new NEST maintenance director came from? k. They work at the super stupendous toy factory now in the design department. l. Out chasing lawyers and car salesman. m. You really don't want to know other than think black plastic coroner bags. n. Went to Hollywood to become a stuntman for action movies when his false leg changed and reshaped his lower body. o. Frozen stasis until we can make the rest of them into an Autobot. p. Got new implants and put up 'lost implants' signs on local bulletin boards and telephone poles for the originals. q. Well, she has straight teeth and a few other Cybertronic based enhancement but hey, the braces came off years early. r. Sold the little critters to the local circus. s. They joined the Decepticons fan club and run their online website.
176. Do not obey human protocols, rules or commands when it endangers us or them. We hold more fire power, speed and strength than any rule they write. But be ready to answer to Autobot command and Prime afterwards. He is our final determining factor of if it was right or wrong.
177. Do not become the focus of the human need to obtain spiritual or mental enrichment. We are ancient and more knowledgeable but not the answer they need to solve their own problems. Refer them to medical staff, chaplains or fellow NEST team members.
178. Do not underestimate the human imagination. It can create beauty beyond description or perversion beyond despair. In that, they think like both Autobots and Decepticons. It is our duty to keep them focused on our way of existence while remembering freedom is the right of all sentient beings.
179. Do not become obsessed with relationships like the humans. A mistake on our part can last vorns and broken sparks affect every bot.
180. Do not assume our processor motivations coincide with human motivations however similar our races may appear.
181. Do not become frustrated with human misunderstandings regarding our complex mechanical nature. They do not understand all the buttons on their TV remotes that they use daily ,why would they understand alien complexities?
182. Do not befuddle humans with details about our mechanical existence that are unnecessary or not relevant. There are things they need to know and understand while other data must not fall into their hands.
183. Do not become confused, obsessed or bewildered by the human concepts of genders and sexuality. It is hidden and displayed, joked about and taken seriously, counseled over and not mentioned in mixed company. It is the most confusing aspect of their race but we know what we are, even if they don't.
184. Do not ignore Cybertronian customs and courtesy based on traditions not being relevant on earth. Location does not change manners and the humans can learn from our example.
185. Do not interfere in human relationships however close we are to both the mech and the femme. Their emotions cannot merge like a spark to heal and sync processors.
186. Do not agree to assist in human customs unless you know fully what you are agreeing to. Wars have been started over slight misunderstandings and the femmes of the human race are protective of their children and pets. One upset can scare even the Decepticons.
187. Do not assume human threats are a prelude to a true attack. They use words, threatening posturing and display weapons with no intention of violence while other humans will laugh, smile and stab you through your spark without hesitation.
188. When a human asks, "Do you know who my father is?" It is an expression referring to perceived superiority of the asker based on their parental unit, not a legitimate inquiry into a familial relationship in any way, shape or form. Do not answer: a. What? Your mother didn't tell you? Then I will not either. b. One ugly aft human apparently. c. No, I'm guessing he probably doesn't want to know who you are either. d. Not the Allspark. e. Handwriting that bad on the birth certificate? f. I know who my mech creator was. Why would I care about yours squishy? g. According to evolution theory, a primordial ooze which is what you will be if you say one more word fleshling!
189. When a human asks are you mechanically based? Do not answer: a. Biological is so ugly. Oops! Did I vocalize that out aloud? b. We're the next stage of evolution which makes you obsolete. c. Only way to be! d. Like duh! Both my creators were mechanical, can't you tell? e. Swapping parts is easier and faster than growing new ones. How long until your brain is grown and working ? f. There was nothing better to choose from at the time. g. Keep a secret? We only look mechanical. h. Are you sure you're smart enough to understand an answer after asking a dumb question like that ? i. The Allspark cube was metal and started our race so that means? j. We are not mechanical, we are Cybertronian. k. Why? What else would we be? Play dough? l. Not sure, ask Ratchet, he would know.
190. Do not use our technology to "help the humans" especially Annabelle Lennox without thinking out the end results. They may appear to act or think like us but their race is very different and a small change can have big effects later.
191. Do not let personal hobbies or interests interfere with professional combat readiness. Humans collect odd items, do not become a collector for the sake of collecting. We are continually on the move and our alt modes have limited space capability.
192. Do not become so attentive to your duties your processors lock on that alone. War and repair take their toll on our strength and time but when we can pursue personal activities, remember family and bond brothers should always be first, middle and last.
193. Do not forget that our human allies are weaker and more fragile on the battlefield. They are fierce and tenacious making they seem more like us and will take chances our logic processors would forbid.
194. Do not judge an entire race of sentient beings based on a few encounters or a few of their kind. If humans had met the Decepticons first what would they have thought of us? How do you determine their view of us by what you do?
195. Ten things you want never to ask a Transformer: [/li][li] After he asked, "Is this repair really necessary?" Ratchet did what to Ironhide? [/li][li] Sideswipe? Why is there a fire hydrant wedged in the center of your front bumper? Was Annabelle driving again? [/li][li] Are you sure Elita asked to borrow the ships anchor then asked if anyone had seen Optimus lately? I thought she was still mad at him. [/li][li] Why are you missing your tires? [/li][li] Blades, the rescue helicopter transform and Air Raid, an Aerialbot were trying to see how close they could come to the ground when who rolled up and began his transform? [/li][li] Why is the Dinobot Grimlock wearing a saddle and reins? [/li][li] You let Wheeljack enhance the femme's spark chambers to create sparklings without testing the design first? [/li][li] Did you inform Sarah Lennox about cold affecting Transformers? [/li][li] You did know Bumblebee is the sparkling of Optimus Prime when you verbally insulted his creators before tackling and fighting with him? [/li][li] Why would I accept a bribe of ten thousand Cybertronian credit to not report this?
196. Ten things you never want a Transformer to say to a human: [/li][li] Stuff that fruit pie in your mouth and hide! Ratchet is coming. <They will choke and make a mess> [/li][li] Wait, that wasn't a human I just stepped on was it? [/li][li] Quick, hide me from Elita One! *Optimus Prime [/li][li] That is not a Cybertronian clock, that is the countdown to the Decepticon bomb going off. RUN! [/li][li] Get another crowbar or a slagging crane if necessary! They're still wedged together! Hang on Blades, we'll get you out of Ultra Magnus grill yet. [/li][li] Have you seen any of our datapads? They are all missing. Wait, have you seen the twins or Prowl? [/li][li] Hide me from the femmes! They're all spark happy! [/li][li] What do you mean you let Sarah borrow a tank of liquid nitrogen? [/li][li] The human femme that slapped you for that comment, was the hologram of Chromia. And we never forget. [/li][li] Why is every rescue and fire vehicle heading towards Wheeljack's lab?
197. Do not involve other bots in your pranks when they are unwilling or unsuspecting. You are in enough trouble when caught without risking a friendship over it. The victim of the prank and their revenge is another matter and another rule.
198. Do not speak of a private matter in a public area. The humans are overly curious and consider no topic or area off limits, even when marked with red and black tape, electrical voltage current signs and a do not touch sign. (Proven by nine humans shocking themselves out cold on Volt's energy whip the twins stole and left in the middle of the lunchroom, labeled with the above warnings.)
199. Do not hide pain or be ashamed of needing help from teammates or Autobot command. The human culture has entire realms to helping and being helped though we should avoid radio call in shows, public forums including but not limited to Dr Phil, Jerry Springer and anger management classes.
200. Do not review, upload or download confidential material regarding the Autobots, NEST or incidents that occur therein that could become a potential security leak in public places including libraries, cyber cafes, or personnel smart phones.
201. Do not use time in med bay for anything other than to recover, get repairs and reset your systems. No work for Prowl, no designing for Wheeljack, no commanding by Prime and no mischief for the twins. Ratchet can repair new injuries like wrench dents alongside of older battle marks.
202. Do not question a human femme's protectiveness, intelligence or challenge one to prove herself. You would not do that to an Autobot or Decepticon femme and survive either.
203. Do not close your processors to defining human existence into narrow categories. They are an unpredictable race and capable of changing and learning.
204. Do not become unduly upset when a human asks if it's possible to build them a human driven robot based on our protoform or transform. Remind them sharing advanced technology is forbidden by the treaty and do not respond by saying: a. What, are we not good enough for you? Don't us around anymore, isn't that it? b. Aren't you're species dangerous enough already without such a thing? c. You trying to start something here?! I'll tear you apart for asking me that! *Ironhide d. Like you could figure out how to turn it own let alone fight with it. Really? Figured out all the buttons on the TV remote you use daily? e. Why waste time on something that will fall apart in less than five of your minutes built by the lowest contracted price after how many endless delays and court battles to build it in the first place? f. And where would you get the technology for the helmet that's the other half the control...oh no you don't, you are not dissecting me for that! g. And let you get claustrophobic once it transforms into its robot mode? I think not. h. Your race is not ready for such advanced toys...I mean weapons. i. Stand there blinking, then burst out laughing, saying it was a 'good joke.' j. Of course, but it'll take a few centuries to get it right, give or take a decade or two. *Wheeljack k. You watch way too many cartoons and science fiction shows. l. Are you nuts? If you develop it, the other nations around the world will want them too, and that would lead to a whole new arms race on this planet. Didn't your species go through that already? m. I'll want royalties once they're off the assembly line. n. And what would you fuel it with? Talk about sky high gas prices. o. If you get maimed or killed by that thing, then be my guest. I've already got a bet going on when your species would ask for that. Now that it's closed, I've got a new bet going, and that's on your chance of survival with one of those things. Oh, by the way Ratchet owes me big time.
205. Do not attempt to change what you cannot and realize human behavior is irrational, unplanned and not common. We have friends as well as enemies among their race. [/color]
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